What's Gone Wrong Between You and Your Wife?
http://www.womensquarter.com/articles/11110/1/Whats-Gone-Wrong-Between-You-and-Your-Wife/Page1.html
Art Gib
Beck & Poorman, Attorneys at Law (http://www.beck-poorman.com/sexual_harassment.html) specialize in Idaho state law, and retain in the services of North Idaho sexual harassment lawyers that both understand the law and the attitudes of the community where they practice. By Art Gib
Published on 12 May 2011
Sexuality is a vital part of every romantic relationship, but the longer you've been married and the more harried your schedules are, the more difficult it is to connect intimately. You might feel like your wife is pulling away from you--but how to regain the spark? This approach can make a world of difference.
In the beginning, the sex was great, high in quality and quantity. But recently, something's gone wrong. The spark is fading. The intimate encounters are diminishing. There are excuses ranging from laundry to headaches to a crying baby. You're feeling lonely and rejected. You're feeling the strain on your marriage, but you don't know how to fix it.
This situation is not hopeless for you and your wife. Making some adjustments in your relationship and your own approach to her and her sexuality can make all the difference in the world for your satisfaction--and hers.
It will make a world of difference for you to realize that a woman's sexuality is complicated, and as much as you wish that she would just feel it and deal it like you, it isn't going to happen. Having empathy for her feelings, both emotional and physical, will get you much further than frustration.
Women's libido is dramatically influenced by their emotional well-being, so taking charge in reducing or eliminating her burdens is going to be the best foreplay you can provide. Help her with dinner, do the dishes, or entertain the children while she takes a hot bath or does her nails. Instead of lingerie and dirty talk before the deed, try giving her a long backrub or using another technique to pamper her.
Try to avoid doing these kind gestures exclusively when you want to have a sexual encounter. Trust me, she will pick up on that pattern very quickly.
A sense of entitlement on either end has destroyed many a marriage throughout history and across the globe, so convincing yourself that you DESERVE something--intimacy, relaxation, and so on--is going to kill her desire for you.
Regardless of whether she's a full-time mom or a CEO, she needs to be treated with respect, so never say (or even imply!) that you work harder than she does. If you silently think it, that's not good either. Rewire your thinking and recognize all the wonderful things she does, and praise her amply.
Listen to her in bed and out. She may be declining intimacy because she feels her sexual needs aren't being met. If she's experiencing unpleasantness like vaginal dryness or pain, she needs your patience and understanding as she consults with a gynecologist and investigates remedies.
What's more, post-pregnancy hormone levels and child bonding can change sensations for her and alter her priorities, respectively. It's a woman's biological instinct to place her offspring as her first priority, so the more you share child rearing duties, the more she will feel secure.
Sexuality is vital in every romantic relationship, but using pressure, nagging, and manipulation are NEVER ways to get what you want--neither is cheating. Be open with her, and be willing to change yourself, and you will both be grateful in the long run.
This situation is not hopeless for you and your wife. Making some adjustments in your relationship and your own approach to her and her sexuality can make all the difference in the world for your satisfaction--and hers.
It will make a world of difference for you to realize that a woman's sexuality is complicated, and as much as you wish that she would just feel it and deal it like you, it isn't going to happen. Having empathy for her feelings, both emotional and physical, will get you much further than frustration.
Women's libido is dramatically influenced by their emotional well-being, so taking charge in reducing or eliminating her burdens is going to be the best foreplay you can provide. Help her with dinner, do the dishes, or entertain the children while she takes a hot bath or does her nails. Instead of lingerie and dirty talk before the deed, try giving her a long backrub or using another technique to pamper her.
Try to avoid doing these kind gestures exclusively when you want to have a sexual encounter. Trust me, she will pick up on that pattern very quickly.
A sense of entitlement on either end has destroyed many a marriage throughout history and across the globe, so convincing yourself that you DESERVE something--intimacy, relaxation, and so on--is going to kill her desire for you.
Regardless of whether she's a full-time mom or a CEO, she needs to be treated with respect, so never say (or even imply!) that you work harder than she does. If you silently think it, that's not good either. Rewire your thinking and recognize all the wonderful things she does, and praise her amply.
Listen to her in bed and out. She may be declining intimacy because she feels her sexual needs aren't being met. If she's experiencing unpleasantness like vaginal dryness or pain, she needs your patience and understanding as she consults with a gynecologist and investigates remedies.
What's more, post-pregnancy hormone levels and child bonding can change sensations for her and alter her priorities, respectively. It's a woman's biological instinct to place her offspring as her first priority, so the more you share child rearing duties, the more she will feel secure.
Sexuality is vital in every romantic relationship, but using pressure, nagging, and manipulation are NEVER ways to get what you want--neither is cheating. Be open with her, and be willing to change yourself, and you will both be grateful in the long run.